"WELCOME RACE QUIZ BOWL FANS! Tonight's main event: the Kappa Chi Mu Mu's versus your very own verbosity staff!"

     With those opening words from verbosity staffer Kyle Scanlan, the November 14th, 1996, King College Quiz Bowl began with a roaring crowd and a special celebrity guest appearance by Chevy Chase!

     Well, not quite.

     It was a great match up, though. The verbosity "techno-heads" versus KXMM, a.k.a. "the campers" or "Kappa's." Playing for the Kappa's was Joey Morecraft, Colin Roberts, Brandon Story (alias "Sequoia Blue"), and heavyweight Josh Dolezal (alias "Dooley"). As members of the History/PoliSci Club, which sponsors the Quiz Bowl, verbosity had the double duty of setting up the program as well as participating in it. Crowd turnout was fairly good, despite a small lack of preparation.

     Due to his recent radio broadcast experience, we asked campus personality and biblical scholar Dr. James Bowley to moderate. Despite pleas of "God, no, what have I done to deserve this?!", he agreed. KC Network Administrator Jim Donahue, English Department Chair Dr. Stephen Woolsey, and Math professor Dr. T. K. Jonas collected questions from various sources. Senior Tonya Whitt organized the questions for the match. (Thanks everyone!)

     Verbosity took the stage to the Ramones' tune "I Wanna Be Sedated" and were equipped in the traditional "slacker outfit"--plaid shirt over a colored tee. Next the Kappa's strolled in to the tune of Donovan's "Nirvana" dressed in suits and ties.

     The contest started with ten questions for each team. The Kappa's questions were simple, and we, of course, knew all the answers. Unfortunately, our ten questions were the hard ones. Despite brilliant answers like "Alexander the Great," we pulled out of the first round with only half of their score. It seemed like the might of Dooley would triumph.

     At this point, some might have been discouraged. We, however, after remembering The University of Memphis' triumphant victory over The University of Tennessee earlier in the week, rallied our mental forces and opened a can of Whoop-Ass^TM in preparation for the second round. Kyle started the round by breaking bad on some Sports questions, earning us no small amount of points while Jess showed that he is somewhat of an expert in Norse mythology. Corey let us know about "Toto" and "Simply Red," while Seth correctly answered that Paul had made three missionary journeys, and that the Germans used mustard gas in World War I. By the end of the second round, although the Kappa's had doubled their score, we had almost quadrupled ours. Going into the third round, the score was:

     We were discouraged that we were still behind, but verbosity had found a second wind. We scored some points on a few questions at the beginning of the round, and Kyle magnificently pulled us far ahead on the last question (which, oddly enough, was worth 30 points): "This author was born in 1799--"

Kyle's buzzer: "Buzzz!"

Dr. Bowley:    "Kyle?"

Kyle:          "Pushkin."

     Luckily for us, Kyle was right and earned us 30 points for a final score of Verbosity, 145; Kappa Chi Mu Mu, 80. Of course there were the usual cries of "That was fixed!" and "Cheaters!" Fortunately, it was nothing we hadn't heard before and we just ignored it. It was just... coincidence... that the entire verbosity staff is in the History/PoliSci Club, which sponsored the event. We snagged the large hot pink "Verbosity" sign we hung for the event, and it now proudly decorates the wall of our main office, a trophy of our mighty victory.