Hello, and welcome to The Further Adventures of Jane. In case you hadn't guessed, I'm Jane and this column is here to lead you through some of the more interesting episodes I encounter in my life. You might remember my old column from Issue Five. It's been scrapped and replaced with this one, which allow me to express myself a little better. Be sure to drop me a line to let me know what you think of it. Now, let's get started...

    Over the years, I've spent a little time in various chatrooms around the Internet. One common thread I've noticed running through these experiences is that with an obviously feminine name like Jane, it's almost impossible to carry on any sort of sensible on-line conversation. More often than not, I find myself being propositioned for cybersex by some hormonally-charged 14-year-old with a nick like "Bg10Incher" in no time flat.

    In light of this fact, this surfer girl decided to run a little experiment. Logging on to IRC, I entered the #chat channel. I thought to myself, "Jane, what could be more harmless and neutral than this channel?" Well, it was only a few moments before I got a DCC talk request from someone calling himself "Jerralbny." Here's what transpired immediately thereafter:

    There you have it! It was on for approximately thirty seconds when Jerralbny requested a private chat; within a little over ten minutes, I had been chatted up for cybersex. All the while, I did nothing to encourage or promote these relations, and the channel I was on had nothing to do with sex. This was the equivalent of talking to someone while in line at the DMV and them suddenly offering to take off your shirt! And, once I called him on it, he immediately disconnected, probably afraid I was Andy Rooney doing an exposé for 60 Minutes.

    Worse still is the way in which he handled himself in the entire matter. Within the confines of a few short lines, he had asked me about the nature of my undergarments--a bit too forward for this girl. Then, he launched into his twisted cybergropefest without my indicating in any way that I wanted to engage in such activities. Where is the appeal in this kind of behavior? For that matter, is it just me, or does the entire concept of cybersex seem a little off-balance? Personally, I can play make-believe much easier if I'm not sitting in front of a computer.

    This all only goes to prove my point. If you're a woman on the Internet, you're going to have to be ready to put up with some shit. You can't just go into a chatroom and expect to have a normal conversation with most of the "men" out there. The only consolation that a woman really has in the matter is the fact that it's hard to type with one hand.