Welcome to Yackity Smackity, where we here at Verbosity try to answer some of the choice feedback we receive. If you'd like to congratulate us, curse us, or generally speak with us, be sure to drop us a line!

About four more is enough!

    The saying is "Politics makes for strange bedfellows." It might be equally true that politicians themselves make strange bedfellows, and seeing the feminists sleeping with an oft accused sexually extravagant prez is about as strange as it comes.

    Last month's editorial says "In all, it all depends on who wants to get what done." Good point. Sometimes in this game of political husbandry, we try to breed some bizarre mutations of our ideals. As a nation, we are looking for a charming, relaxed "daddy" who can keep his pants on in public, to cross breed with an old gentleman who is harmless and ineffective. It is safe to say that those were the criteria our major parties chose in presenting their candidates. It worked. Only a very few of those who elected to vote rebelled at the electoral offerings.

    Not that either meet the ideal. After all, what we are after is a president who will not only give us everything we want, but lets us keep the change. A "vote for change" is about what we have left after either party foots the bill. What is the tab now for the royal balls of the royal inauguration? Is it $40,000,000 yet? Let the ceremonies begin. Once there was a time when such extravagance was reserved for Kings and Queens, and select members of the aristocracy. However, we saw no bag ladies in the AP or UPI photos around Clinton's balls, either, since I mention it.

    Now, before you accuse me of beating up the Democrats, let it be clear that Dole and Kemp are no strangers to extravagance, either. A blatantly overfunded with taxpayers' money party is a blatantly overfunded with taxpayers' money party, party be damned.

    This is political husbandry. We are creating the next great monarch, to lead us back across the bridge to King George's kennel. In fact, the resistance has been bred out of us. We are willing to hand it over, as long as we get a federally appointed doctor to treat us when we simply can not go on, and a smile before we see those presidential balls.

    A three cent per barrel tax on tea came and went a long time ago. We prefer to pay that tax and let the governors and aristocrats have the tea party, while we sleep, waiting for the next day's harness work.

    The editorial stated, "Between the security of his job, and the image he'll want to manifest for the future, I pretty secure in going out on this limb... and secure as a citizen of the United States." (sic) Well, you will not have a long crawl. You *are* most definitely out on a limb. From where you are, can you tell us what you see past that fence in the breeding grounds?

    Who is doing whom, citizen?

Well, it's an honest question...

     I know it's probably a daily used word, but unfortunately, I am not aware of the definition of the word "verbosity."  Could you please intellectualize me just a little?  Thanks.

    Jess sez:  No problem at all, Dave; we're always happy to intellectualize.  In a nutshell, "verbosity" is defined as the quality of being able to talk quite a bit without really saying anything at all of consequence.  An apt synonym would probably be "long-winded" or "wordy."  Personally, I think that describes this publication perfectly.

Uh...yeah.

    I noticed this on the tube last night; it is from the 80's movie Gung Ho with Michael Keaton. The company in the movie, Assan Motors, is a Japanese company. As you can see from the attached pic, there logo is closely related to the Quake logo. Yeah, I realize this movie was around ten years before Quake, but that's still just a little too close for me.

    All right! It's Rorschach time!

Jess sez: It's a swan!
Seth sez: Is that the 3DRealms logo on the back of a swan?
Corey sez: I think it represents an abandonment complex and the psychological scars incurred therein--or a swan.

Quaking in our boots

    I loved your top 12 list. Might I be so bold as to add one more? Not that you haven't gotten a hundred already...

#13. You know you addicted to Quake when you find yourself driving down the road and think, "You know, I could probably drive a little better if I just had a crosshair on the windshield."

How come he's getting chicks and we're not?

Hey Verbosity Gods,

   I thought I would drop a line and say hello. I am writing you from the wonderul campus of Alamance Community College! I wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading all the back issues of Verbosity. I mean, what else is there to do with three free hours between classes? Besides, whenever I bring up Verbosity all the chicks come running over and I tell them that I know the guys who do this fine publication. Because of Verbosity alone, I have scored with three chicks already. Okay -- I'm lying. But for a second there weren't you just feeling great about your fine publication?

    Seth sez:  Everett, we're not chicks!

Why didn't we think of that?

    Did you ever think of interviewing Bill Gates -- the nerd above nerds; the absolute Nerd King -- for Verbosity?  I have his e-mail address right here, if you're interested...

    Jess sez:  Nice idea, Troels. However, it turns out that Bill Gates, the richest sentient being ever to exist, is not the fun-loving, wacky guy he may appear to be in interviews and the like. We contacted him back in September, only to receive a negative form letter from one of his assistants. It seems Mr. Gates is a little too pressed for time to take part in interviews with independent webzines like Verbosity. So, an interview with Bill Gates -- much like the institution of Communism -- works well in theory, but lacks in application.

Digging deep into the mailbag...

   As of late, there's been some strange interest in the back issues of Verbosity.  We have a little trouble understanding this (even we won't read most of the back-issues), but we're never ones to argue with reader interest.  So, here's some feedback that's poured in recently dating back to articles written as far back as August of 1996.  Wow...

We're still getting flames on this one...

   I am justly offended by your literary of straight-edge's inner contradictions, and would like to clear a few things up. sXe is about respecting yourself (being true to your own convictions) and respecting others. I am not a militant sXe, and believe that if you choose to use drugs or engage in illicit sex, it's ultimately your own business. I, however, choose not to do so. I also happen to listen to hardcore (which is not a "requirement" of being sXe). Please educate me further on the facts behind your opinion that sXe lacks a "grey area." In turn, perhaps I could shed some light on the fact that sXe does include varying degrees and interpretations.

    Corey sez:  Been there. Done that.

Let's do the time warp again...

Ok, well...

My favorite eighties TV show was Growing Pains.
My favorite movie was Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
My favorite cartoon was Jem and the Holograms.
My favorite fashion craze were black plastic bracelets.
My favorite musical group was the Culture Club.
My favorite catch phrase was "Gag me with a silver spoon!"
Poison.

   Corey sez:  There were more than just black jelly bracelets! Finally, though, somebody who likes Poison! Look what the cat dragged in...