Fine. They killed off Superman. I can deal with that. Batman broke his back, no problem. Even the Green Lantern (Hal Jordan, my personal favorite) got put in a pine box. But when Mr. Fantastic's son "accidentally" creates a "pocket" universe inside his little blue bouncy ball, full of alternate-universe superheros, alternate-universe bad guys, and alternate-universe Incredible Hulks (who knows if he's a good or bad guy anymore), it is safe to assume that things have gone too far.

"Haven't you ever heard of suspension of disbelief?" Yeah, but suspension of disbelief and suspension of all reasonable storytelling skills are two incredibly different things. I could believe that the Avengers threw themselves at their foe and were suddenly transported to some random alternate universe, as long as that alternate universe is one of a myriad collection or something. But you just can't go around giving 4 year old kids godlike powers. It just isn't reasonable.

So they kill the good guys off (and resurrect them, it seems) at a fairly rapid rate. OK, I can live with that, but why do they keep the DORKY characters around? For instance, there's this guy called Guy Gardener. He was a Green Lantern for a few issues, but he's just a prick. Nobody likes him, he was always making mistakes, and he had a really ugly haircut. So what happens when multiple superheros go up against the ultimate bad guy Doomsday? Guy Gardner gets a broken arm or something, and Superman, the Man of Steel (and a decently normal hair style), dies!

What is the reasoning behind this? What plans could they possibly have in store for a second-rate loser with a bad attitude and the unparalleled power of screwing things up?

Here are my suggestions. It's crazy, I know, but bear with me. First, when someone dies, goes insane, or visits another planet to battle a mutant spider with psychic powers and poisonous eyelids, they should remember to pack the impenetrable costume that doesn't rip to shreds at the drop of a hat. Second, the number of races of immortal beings in charge of creating/protecting/supervising the universe should be reduced to a number in the single digits. Lastly, and I think that this will end a lot of the nonsense, instead of a crisis that threatens the very existence of humanity (or worse, the entire existance of the universe/space-time continuum, etc) every third issue, limit the threat to small islands or unimportant states. Maybe Kentucky or Akron or something.

(Editor's note: Maybe some gratuitous violence or tight clothing while we're at it...)

• The Unofficial Green Lantern Page